


Illicit affairs

by Yurelispaola_14



Category: The Wilds (TV 2020)
Genre: F/F, Hate to Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-09
Updated: 2021-02-25
Packaged: 2021-03-15 08:35:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 13,788
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29311185
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yurelispaola_14/pseuds/Yurelispaola_14
Summary: In her final year of high school, a promising sports star (Toni) is involved in a series of events that will make her rethink not only her true identity but whether it is worth risking the future for a past that perhaps she will never live again
Relationships: Becca Gilroy/Shelby Goodkind, Fatin Jadmani/Leah Rilke, Leah Rilke/Toni Shalifoe, Regan/Toni Shalifoe, Shelby Goodkind/Toni Shalifoe
Comments: 2
Kudos: 34





	1. Epilogue

**Author's Note:**

> English is not my first language so I apologize for any grammatical errors. I made this fanfic for fun so I hope you enjoy it. Thank you for reading

In the small town of Jefferson, East Texas, Stephen Austin High School opens its doors for a new school year. Inside the building, the tide of teenagers unfolds section by section, making it a daunting task to walk through the corridors.

At a desperate pace, Toni Shalifoe -a member of the basketball team- tries to open a gap in the crowd, aware that she is late for the first meeting of the season. The Jefferson's Firebirds are, exaggeration aside, a top priority in Toni's life, not because she thinks she's talented enough to turn pro but because the playing field has become her only home -or, at least, the only home where she can be herself-.

Upon entering through one of the gym's side doors, the team was unaware of her presence. They are too immersed in the tactical directions of Gretchen, the coach. "How can they not be?" she thought to herself, clumsily hiding a smile, "if this is the last dance, the last chance to make history", she continued to be heard in her head, before approaching the rest of her companions.

—I'm sorry ...— she wanted to say, apologetically, but was cut off mid-sentence.

—We talk when we finish. Now, have a seat— the older woman said.

Toni, clearly saddened, joined the rest. During the meeting, she didn't pay special attention -she didn't pay any attention, to be honest- to anything that was said. Her body was there as she reviewed the memories of last summer. Like a black and white short film, over and over, reliving the moment when everything got screwed up. 

—Hey— a familiar voice whispered behind her —Do you want to explain to me why the hell you resigned from the captaincy?—.

—Dot, I don't want to talk about it, okay?— Toni replied, without turning to look at her.

—I won't be as good a captain as you— she commented, shrugging.

—You're already better than me, bitch— she insisted, then pounced on her best friend. —Tell us, Dot, how does it feel to be the captain of the best club in Texas?—.

—Generations past believed this moment would never come— Dot said, making the whole group laugh.

—Girls, you can go— Coach Gretchen announced, staring at her former captain.

The girls started to leave but Toni stayed there, trying to practice her triples while she waited for the gym to empty.

—Are you coming?— Dot asked.

—See you at break—

—¡All right!— she exclaimed —By the way, remember that today is the Reid sisters' welcome party. ¡You can't miss it!— she sentenced, before running away.

"Of course I'm the life of the party," Toni thought ironically, trying not to burst into tears at that very moment.

—I heard what happened. I'm very sorry— said the coach, facing the young brunette who was looking at her in complete silence —You don't have to talk about it. I'm pleasantly surprised you're still on the team. Truth is, when I heard the news, I thought you'd quit— she continued, this time squeezing her shoulder —But you're still here. You're still here because you know those girls need you. They need your passion, they need your rage... they need a leader and leadership is not found in the band of a captain— Toni’s facial expression relaxed —You have given everything to this team, Toni, everything those girls are now is partly because of you. You have earned their respect. They won't let you fall, you know that, right?— Gretchen asked and Toni nodded shyly —They won't let you down— she repeated —It's your last season together. Enjoy at least life in the game triangle. Just try to endure the chaos. You see, Shalifoe, no feeling is final, not even love— Klein finished her speech and then left the gym.

After a few seconds, Toni wiped away a tear and went to class, totally unaware that that night her life would take an unexpected turn.

——————————————————————————-

A few miles away, the leader of the cheer club, Shelby Goodkind, was dressed in front of the mirror in light blue jeans, fitted at the waist, with a colorful long-sleeve shirt and matching nikes.

—You look amazing— Martha commented, who had been staring at her from outside the room. —Well, you're always amazing— she rectified and greeted her with a kiss on the cheek.

—I wasn't expecting you so soon— replied the blonde girl, a little puzzled.

—I thought you would need help with your outfit— said her friend, as she lay down on the bed.

—It does not convince me. Don't you think it's too simple?— she asked, still paying attention to her own reflection.

—Are you kidding me?, Shelbs, you could turn a garbage bag into something more valuable than a Carolina Herrera dress. ¡Jesus, you are perfect!— 

"Perfect," echoed in her mind. It better be that way. She wanted nothing more than to stand up to Andrew looking perfect, irresistible, desirable… She was determined to make him regret having cheated on her.

—Shall we go?— Martha asked, snapping her out of her thoughts.

Shelby nodded and after taking the car keys, left the room with a determined step, totally unaware that tonight her life would take an unexpected turn.


	2. The Party

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, thanks for reading, I hope you enjoy it

The Reid sisters kick-off party is one of the most significant social events in the town. You cannot expect less from a site whose population is below 2,500 inhabitants. Here any ordinary matter is front page news. 

Nora Reid is a member of the cheer squad -also an Albert Einstein under construction. Her ratings sweep away any ranking of excellence- Rachel Reid, on the other hand, is sheer brute force -probably the best pivot the Jefferson 's Firebirds have had in their 40-year history-. In addition to their last names and physical resemblance, the only thing the sisters have in common is that they are both insanely rich or wealthy enough to throw a party the size of a fairground.

The entire Stephen Austin High School would attend, even a few teachers thirsty for high-end liquor. The presence of the team was practically mandatory, the same generation of players was maintained from the first year. In this, which is their last, not only were they celebrating the state championship -which they had won non-stop for the past four seasons- but they were closer to winning the national trophy than they had ever been in the past.

The team and seniors seemed to have a lot to celebrate. Toni, on the other hand, just wanted to disappear for a long time from the face of the earth.

—Can I come in?— was heard behind the door.

—Go ahead, Marty— she agreed, after recomposing her countenance as best she could.

—Toni, tell me you're going to the party— Marty begged.

—I don't know, Martha, I'm not in the mood—

—You have to go. Rachel has prepared a special tribute. It would be a shame if their captain, who has guided them since day one, was not there to see it—

—Ex-captain, you mean— Toni corrected her.

—Anyway, you are the heart of the Firebirds, you have to be there. We would all like to see you— Martha said, as she extended her hand to help her up.

—Fine— she accepted —Are you coming with me or are you meeting your friends?—

—I will meet my friends. In fact, I was hoping you'd give me a ride to Shelby's house—

—You leave me to go have fun with a homophobic Christian. Wow Marty, you impress me every day— the older of the two said jokingly and then laughed. —Come on, hippie, I'll take you, don't make a scene— she ended up agreeing, as always, to be the official driver for her little sister.

Toni decided to dress as sober as possible. Plaid pants, black shirt and boots. She didn't plan on spending long at the party. She just wanted to talk to her friends, let them know that even if she wasn't the captain, her commitment to the goal remained the same.  
Once she dropped Martha at the Goodkind house, she drove serenely down the main road toward the party, which was being held outside of Jefferson.

On the way, she noticed that she was passing in front of the house of the best summer of her life.

Like an uncontrollable impulse, she pulled up the 65 chevy truck on the right side of the freeway and dialed the same number that topped her recent calls list.

—Any news?— she asked, full of hope.  
—None— answered the voice.

Then the conversation ends and Toni puts her truck back into gear.

———————————————————————————-

Around midnight, Toni arrives at the party. From outside, the lights that illuminate the huge colonial house in the middle of nowhere are visible, as well as the uproar that is forged in the dance tent. The music is deafening to the point that it is able to silence your own thoughts.

—¡Hey!— Shalifoe heard someone call her, so she started turning her head trying to find that familiar voice. —Here, skinny legs— indicated the strange figure, as she raised her cell phone to point the way. 

—Hi, Fatin— Toni said, once she had recognized her, being received by the pretty cheerleader with a kiss on the lips. —How can you be drunk? it’s still early— she laughed and gently pushed her away.

—I am drunk but you, you are so hot in that outfit— this time, they both laughed —Come on, let's find a good place to see the tribute— walking hand in hand, they arrived just in time to see the images on the big screen.

Immediately, a compilation of team videos began to play. As a narrative framework, the images perfectly described the entire path they had traveled together. From youth to mature, from innocence to the hardest stumbling blocks. Toni was smiling to herself. The moments on the bus, her first state cup, her debut as a player, everything was there, the night walks, the failed shot that cost them victory in their first national dispute ... The fury, the hunger, the glory, what could have been and what they almost reached. The passion of a lifetime, the legacy of a generation that will never be forgotten.

The video culminated with a direct message: "This year we will make it possible."

The players took the stage wearing shirts with the same phrase, Toni being the last to stand before everyone with the shirt resting on her shoulder.

—As you know, this season I will stop wearing the captain's armband— she announced and a lament was heard from the audience —However. My commitment to this shield remains the same. Every day until the end, we will work to bring Stephen Austin the trophy we have been fighting for for so many years. Thank you for supporting us. Thank you for letting me be your captain for so long— she pronounced, now looking at her teammates —You girls are my inspiration. It has been an honor to represent you and it will continue to be an honor to obey the orders of who, I am sure, will know how to preserve the essence of this club— pointing to her best friend —With you, ladies and gentlemen, a loud applause for the new captain of the Firebirds, ¡Dot Campbell!— she yelled and surrounded her in a warm hug, before walking down the stairs and losing herself in the crowd.

———————————————————————————-

Shelby had spent the party burning in anger because of her ex, who had decided to bring his new college girlfriend with him.

Actually, not that she found Andrew particularly attractive or liked him to the point of losing her mind. Both began their relationship influenced by the opinion of their parents, who had considered the courtship as "favorable", taking into account that the two belonged to deeply Christian families. "You have to be with a man who can share your religious principles, Shelbs," her father had commented. "What nonsense" she thought to herself, aware that those principles were nothing more than an imposition that she shared out of sheer terror of revealing herself against it.

Still, the eldest daughter of the Goodkind marriage was willing to get drunk that night. 

In the middle of the floor, Shelby was dancing. Her parents had left town on business, she could afford to lose her temper. The perfect and incorruptible young lady was just a simple facade. Alcohol helped her inhibit any iota of guilt. Only by being drunk did Shelby embody the version of herself she wanted to be.

Suddenly, the music stopped and images of the basketball team began to play on the big screen. At the end, the players took the stage and the captain, Toni, proceeded to give a speech.

—She's hot— said Fatin, coming to her side.

—Maybe— she answered, without taking her eyes off the athlete, completely immersed in her words.

—You will never be able to pretend that you don't like her, will you?— asked Fatin with a mocking tone.

—Let me breathe, Jadmani— the blonde answered, then turned her back on her, heading for the exit. 

The party was no longer fun, so she made it a point to get to her car and drive home. On the verge of accomplishing her task, a male voice caught her attention.

—Shelbs, wait!— Andrew yelled, who quickened his pace to catch up with her —Hi— he said, once he reached her —I think we should talk—.

—I have nothing to talk to you— she denied, clearly annoyed —Now, if you'll excuse me, I'll proceed to go home— she commented, pushing him out of her way.

—You're not going anywhere— Andrew insisted, grabbing her arm.

—Let go of me— Shelby ordered him, but when he didn't answer, she repeated her words again —Andrew, let go of me, please, you hurt me—.

—Let her go— said a silhouette, walking towards the scene.

—Look who we have here, ¡the great Toni Shalifoe!— Andrew exclaimed, grinning from ear to ear —Did you miss something around here? Besides decency, of course— 

—Let her go— Toni repeated, this time in front of Andrew.

—Or what?— The boy did not receive an answer. In a matter of seconds, Toni had knocked him down.

—Asshole, I told you to let her go— after each word from Toni, Andrew received a new punch to the face.

Shelby, despite already feeling the effects of alcohol in her blood, pulled as best she could on the young woman's arms and managed to separate her. Andrew got up and ran instantly.

—Run you bastard, before I break your fucking face— the brunette warned, still wrapped in anger, turned to look at Shelby —Are you okay?—.

—I'm fine. Are you?— she wanted to know, having noticed the swelling in the athlete's knuckles. 

—It was nothing, Goodkind, just a little scratch— she smiled at her.

Shelby tried to open her car door but the drunkenness was too much. —You won't think of driving like this— Toni reproached her, holding out her hand for her to hand over the keys. —I'm taking you home—.

—What about Martha?—.

—She knows how to take care of herself. I'm afraid I can't say the same about you— Shalifoe said, watching the cheerleader throw up on the sidewalk.

As soon as Shelby recovered, the two set off for the Goodkind mansion.  
At first, the ride was quiet but not uncomfortable. The dark dawn was just spreading over the bare meadows.

—Why did we stop talking to each other?— Shelby broke the silence.

—I don't wanna do this now, Shelbs— Toni kept her gaze fixed on the road. 

—You call me "Shelbs", you take me home but "you don't want to do this now"— the blonde repeated the words ironically —Fuck, say something— the traffic light turned red and the car stopped.

—You are drunk. If you keep doing this, you will regret it tomorrow— Toni looked at her —I just want to protect you— she admitted.

—Protect me or protect you?— Toni's eyes crystallized and, without answering, she started the car again.

A familiar melody appeared on the radio.

—Turn up the volume— Shelby ordered and started to sing.

The drink you spilt all over me... 'Lover's Spit' left on repeat

The lyrics of the song in her mouth were nothing short of hypnotic. Toni, fixed on the wheel, couldn't help but feel chills.

The drink you spilt all over me, 'Lover's Spit' left on repeat. My mom and dad let me stay home, It drives you crazy getting old...

Music introduced them little by little into the game of eternity, of the invincible, of unshakable youth …

This dream isn't feeling sweet, We're reeling through the midnight streets. And I've never felt more alone, It feels so scary getting old...

Nothing else mattered, there was no room for fear, for regrets…

And laughing 'til our ribs get tough  
But that will never be enough.

And so, over low heat, they had eaten the route in a matter of seconds.

—Shelby, we're here— she said, snapping her out of her thoughts.

—Toni, I don't think I can walk. The world is spinning around me— Shelby replied, with her face in her hands.

—Don't worry, we'll go in together—.  
Shalifoe carried her into her room. Once there, she helped her undress and covered her with the sheets.

—Bring me the medicine cabinet from the bathroom— Shelby asked, who was sitting up in bed. 

—Here you go— the other girl obeyed, as she sat down on a bench, both facing each other.

The cheerleader applied some pomade to her knuckles and began to bandage her hand.

—Thanks for, you know— Shelby said softly when she finished healing her.

—Anyone would have done the same— Toni answered, shrugging it off.

—Not just anyone— Shelby insisted.

Once again devastated by the silence, their eyes met at the mercy of nowhere and, inadvertently, Shelby planted a kiss on her lips. 

At first, Toni kissed her back. Kissing Shelby was liberating. For the first time since the tragic event, she felt that she was calm again. Nevertheless, she rectified and pushed her away, knowing that Shelby was unaware of what she was doing.

—Good night, Shelbs— Toni said and left the room.

In the back seat of the uber, her head was spinning. "What was that feeling?" she asked herself. "Guilt, sadness, nostalgia ...?".

—I just want Leah to wake up— she whispered through tears, aware that there would be no answer.


	3. The meeting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> With this third chapter, the structure of the fanfic is more or less reflected. So from now on I'll update less regularly - every three days if you're lucky - To give it some "drama" - and because I'm trying to graduate from college - hahaha. Thank you for being part of this story. I hope you enjoy today's chapter

Exposed to the caresses of the dawn, Shelby's body lies on the white sheets, immersed in a deep sleep.

From outside, the house glows, the song of cicadas can be heard in the distance and the morning dew sweetens the roads with a silver veil, anticipating the imminent arrival of autumn.

Jefferson is a city frozen in time. The colonial heritage, built into the Victorian architecture of its properties, reflects at first glance the sobriety that its community embodies. In the past, Jefferson's popularity was due to the natural resources business, which attracted multiple migrants. Among them, the Goodkind family (originally from Rhode Island), who ended up putting down roots and making the host city a new home.

The ravages caused by the civil war and the history of effort of its inhabitants made Jefferson a closed nucleus, where the maintenance of tradition and order was above any other precept.

Shelby was raised under the tutelage of those principles. The Goodkind mansion is a space where tradition and social customs are not questioned, a place where obedience to authority prevails and family functioning revolves around the search for aesthetic, professional, economic or moral perfection. Although she did not deny her origin, Shelby knew that this place was a prison for her aspirations. The fate that awaited her, like most young people, was a distant future, a horizon free of gossip, where she could begin the search for her true "self" with no limits other than her own.

All those rules, those secrets ... Everything had shaken the night before. Shelby knew it when she opened her eyes, disturbed by the sound of an incoming call.

—Hi, Daddy— the young woman greeted the man on screen.

—Hello, darling— Mr. Goodkind replied happily, although as soon as he noticed the dark circles on Shelby's face, his expression changed drastically —Didn't you sleep well Shelbs, are you sick?— he asked, tone of concern.

—I'm fine dad, I think it might be a cold, you know I can't tolerate the change of seasons— she lied, knowing it was one of her best talents.

—Bundle up tight, we don't want you to get sick in our absence— Dave Goodkind advised, Shelby sighed in relief —Anyways. I called you to tell you that you will spend the weekend alone. There were problems with weather in San Francisco and the flight was delayed for two days. We won't be back until Monday afternoon— the man said sadly.

—Don't worry, really, everything is going well here— said the teenager who, after saying goodbye, hung up the call.

Lying on her back, the images of the night overlap in her head: the fight, the way back, Toni ... Her gaze shone at the thought of that kiss. She didn't really understand what was going on inside her or what made that memory so relevant, but she liked it and it terrified her in equal measure.

Aware that no one could find out what had happened, Shelby enlisted and drove out on the way to the Blackburns' house. She was determined to get the athlete to keep the secret.

When they started high school six years ago, the last name Shalifoe was on everyone's lips. Anthony Shalifoe, Toni's father, was not only a basketball star but a virtuoso in the art of the ball. Those who had enjoyed it live described his game as a true exhibition, something never seen before. When Anthony died of a heroin overdose, leaving his 11-year-old daughter alone, was truly shocking. Trevor Blackburn, who was Shalifoe's teammate and best friend in his youth, did not hesitate to take care of the girl. Together with his wife, Dakota, they gave her an opportunity by volunteering as foster parents. Finally, when the girl grew up, the formal adoption procedures began. However, despite being a Blackburn under the law, Toni managed to get the national league committee to allow her to use her biological father's last name and number in her senior year of high school. A kind of tribute to his professional career as a player and coach for the Lions, the men's high school team.

—And what do you think about it?— Shelby had asked, months ago, intrigued by the story that Martha confided to her.

—We agree— said the youngest daughter of the Blackburn marriage —We support her decision. Toni believes she is responsible for repairing a legacy that was withered by Anthony's death. We have decided not to intervene at her will. We are family, we know that she loves us and we love her, it is something that we will never doubt— she answered seriously.

—Shelbs, what are you doing here?— a knock on the car window brought her out of her thoughts.

—Hi, Marty, I need to speak to your sister. She's at home?— Shelby got out of the car and hugged her best friend.

—Do you want to see Toni?. Are you sure you are sober?— she joked, cracking up at her friend's serious expression —Come on, don't be so sensitive— Shelby remained serious —Come in, Toni is practicing. I think she's having a good day—.

—Why shouldn't she have a good day?— Shelby asked, confused.

—¡OMG! look how late it is— Marta pointed to a nonexistent wristwatch —Time to go, bye Shelbs— without waiting for an answer, she walked away at a fast pace.

After finishing her vacation in Rhode Island, Shelby had the feeling that something had happened in her absence. There was a certain secrecy in the social conversations. It's not like Jefferson was not like this usually but this time the atmosphere was much heavier, harsher than ever before. With that fresh doubt in her head, she entered the small house, taking advantage of the fact that Martha had left the door open.  
In the backyard, Toni was practicing some shots. The brunette did not notice Shelby's presence, who took the opportunity to detail her from a distance. Toni was wearing skinny jeans, black vans, a gray shirt and a beige cloth jacket. Her adorable look contrasted with the rage and anger she had when throwing, over and over, with inexhaustible force. Toni's fury was a torrent that she could only channel through sports, which is why she stood out, no one had so much to reproach the world, no one did it with as much impetus as she.

—What the fuck are you wearing?— she reproached her, noticing the shorts and top that the blonde was wearing, despite the pressing cold of the last vestiges of the afternoon —Hey, earth calling Shelby Goodkind— tried to get her attention while the girl looked at her without saying anything.

—I came because I wanted to talk to you about, well, the thing from the other night— Goodkind whispered the last sentence as if she was out of breath.

—”The thing from the other night”— she imitated her —Fuck, you can't even say it out loud— Toni put her hands on her hips trying to stay calm.

—It was a mistake, Anto, I'm sorry— Shelby tried to grab Toni's hand but she wouldn't allow it.

—Don't you dare call me that way— the athlete clenched her fists —You don't have to worry. You never had to worry, but if you ever do this to me again, I ...— 

—You what?— Fatin interrupted her in mid-sentence. —Wait, why didn't anyone tell me that a second Treaty of Versailles was being signed here?. I would have brought champagne to the party— Jadmani joked when she noticed Shelby's presence.

Behind her, Dot, Martha, Nora and Rachel came in carrying a pile of bottles and alcoholic beverages.

—This looks like a The Wilds reunion — Dot said, surprised Shelby was there.

—The Wilds?— Martha asked, puzzled.

—Do you remember the summer camp they wanted to promote in Jefferson?— Martha nodded looking at Nora, who had taken the floor —At that time, we had a very compact friendship, so they enrolled us all in it— she continued —On the last day, we wanted to make a goodbye joke and we ended up setting our cabin on fire— they all laughed —That was worth multiple adjectives but, among all of them, our favorite was “The Wilds”, it seemed great to us— Nora closed with a sigh.

—How old were we?—.

—Eight, maybe— Dot replied to Rachel's question —I remember using that nickname for years. We left it before starting high school and ended up taking different directions. It really was a good time— she reflected, taking a sip of the beer in her hands.

—Growing up sucks— Fatin commented, breaking the awkward silence that had come between them —We'd better celebrate the official reunion of The Wilds— she proposed, handing Shelby a beer.

—I don't want to disturb— Goodkind lowered her head —I'd better go— she said but someone grabbed her arm to stop her from leaving.

—Stay— Toni begged in an almost inaudible tone —Besides— she added —I think this is more fun than attending mass with your retinue of pastors on a Saturday night— they both smiled shyly without stopping looking at each other —Stay, for the old days— she reiterated and Shelby nodded.

—Let the party begin, bitches!— Fatin shouted while "pleaser" appeared loudly at the back of the conversation.

The rest of the night, Shelby and Toni did not speak to each other. Every now and then, their eyes met or gave each other a fleeting smile, as if that night hadn't started with both of them expressing their hatred for each other.

Shelby went out to smoke in front of the property. Seconds later, someone squeezed her shoulder from behind before sitting down on the sidewalk next to her.

—Hey— said Campbell —Will you let me?— she asked, bringing her cigarette closer to the blonde's to light it —Thank you— they both fell silent.

—Dot, what happened in the summer? Everyone acts strange, especially Toni. It's like her mind is always somewhere else— Shelby sounded really intrigued.

—You see, Shelbs, during the holidays, I spoke little to nothing with her but something Martha told me, something really serious— she paused and resumed after smothering the flame of the tobacco against the floor —It turns out that Toni got a job at the house of the Rilke family— she paused again trying to organize her ideas chronologically —I don't know if you know but they had a daughter, Leah, she was quite reserved. She was homeschooled, which is why even though they arrived a year ago, we never saw her— Shelby, by this point, was completely immersed in the tale —It seems Leah and Toni had a passionate summer romance. Toni had never been so happy— she said, notoriously sad for her friend —But three weeks ago, Leah was in a car accident while on her way to a Toni preseason game. She's been in a coma ever since— she concluded.

Not knowing how to feel about it, Shelby entered the house followed by Dot.

—You are on time!— Martha expressed, exalted —We'll play the “never have I ever” game—

—I am not playing— Shalifoe rejected, making a face of circumstance.

—Here everyone is playing— Fatin warned and, without delay, started the game.

The girls were saying their proposals in a clockwise direction. After two rounds, Shelby, lacking ideas, said:

—Never have I ever kissed a woman—

Toni looked at Shelby's lips, Goodkind did the same with the elite athlete and, in a matter of seconds, together they traveled to the past.


	4. The meeting/part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi!, it's me again. It's Valentine's Day and since I have no one to celebrate it with, it occurred to me that it would be a good idea to update the story and celebrate with you. Happy Valentines!!! Hope you all enjoy this chapter

—Never have I ever kissed a woman—

Shelby immediately regretted saying those words, and as soon as her green eyes threatened to burst into tears, she felt hands tug at hers toward the exit.

—Let's go get tobacco— Toni said, leading her at a determined pace until they were away from the bustle of the house —Are you okay?— she asked her, once they stopped to catch their breath.

—I'm fine— she lied —Alcohol makes me sensitive— she smiled, wiping a small tear on her cheek.

—Shelbs, you're freezing— the athlete realized, feeling the cold of their fingers still intertwined —Here— she held out her jacket. At first, the cheerleader hesitated but after seconds of insistence, she finally accepted.

Both of them resumed the route in absolute silence, almost dragging their feet, letting themselves be carried away by the passivity of the early morning. The street was empty and the worn lights of the street lamps ineffectively covered the road, being lit mostly by the stars that spanned hundreds of kilometers in the sky. In the distance, only the chirping of crickets seemed to keep them company, as well as the shadow of the bushes and the rhythm of their heartbeat, sounding in unison. In that instant, they were free to do whatever they wanted, they were free to run anywhere or they could get lost anywhere, like two girls, they were free to get away from reality for a while.

Under the dim lighting of a stoplight in the middle of nowhere, Toni stopped and pulled a cigar from the back pocket of her pants.

—I thought you had none left— Shelby commented, confused.

—Fatin brought cigarettes to supply an army in abstinence— they laughed —I noticed you needed to get some air. This was my excuse to get you out of there— she shrugged shyly —But we can come back at any time— Toni clarified, turning around.

—Anto, wait— Toni stopped —Can we resume the conversation from the other night?— Shelby whispered—. 

—Don't do this to me, not again— said the brunette still turning her back on her.

—Okay, just run away like you always do— Shelby said out loud.

—What? I can't fucking believe it— Toni turned around to face her —Let me refresh your memory— they both looked at each other. Their mouths were so close they could almost kiss —I'm not the one who has been leaving messages on the answering machine to say "sorry"— Toni was saying every word with an inordinate rage —I'm not the one who has a secret relationship, the one who doesn't have the guts to tell the world how she feels— her words were cruel, she knew it —And of course, I'm not the one who runs away when the going gets tough— Shelby began to cry but the athlete continued to reproach her —If running away means taking care of myself, I'll run away from you as many times as I can— Toni finished without showing any emotion.

—Fuck you!— Shelby yelled, pushing Toni back.

—Is that all you have?— Toni asked in defiance.

The brunette pulled her close again and, hooked to her hips, caught Shelby's mouth in a kiss. The blonde's fingers traveled to Toni's neck, pushing her further against her lips. In the first instance, the kiss was rough and imprecise, intended to put out a fire that only increased as they touched each other over their clothes. The fire that enveloped them was yellow, yellow like the signal of that lost traffic light, now the only witness to their sudden explosion of lust.

Although this is a rare comparison, there was no better way to describe the relationship they had had for years. Theirs was an immutable affective bond, capable of imposing itself over and over again to the contrary designs of destiny and resurrect in any of the ways in which love could express itself. Certainly, what they had could never run free, it could never go from yellow to green, it was always subjected to self-control, shyness, inexperience ... but it was always there, after all, static, like the yellow signal, anxiously hoping that at some point the situation would turn green and they could move on.

The kiss diminished in intensity, becoming an exchange of gentle caresses. The notion of time became blurred and the night began to spread more forcefully, leaving them in almost total darkness.

—We should go back— Shelby said, walking away from Toni delicately. 

—You're right. I don't want to worry the others— answered Toni, who began to walk on her own. Shelby followed her seconds later.

———————————————————————————-

—But look who's back!— Fatin shouted, seeing them appear in the backyard —You'd better have made the Marlboro yourself— she threatened, standing up —Did I tell you I love you?— she finished saying before throwing herself into Toni's arms.

—I'm pretty sure you've never said it sober— Dot replied, returning from the kitchen.

—And I'm pretty sure you're a lesbian but safety isn't everything, is it?— She counterattacked, pretending to be offended. 

—For God's sake!. Will you ever abandon that fantasy? I mean, I understand that you yearn for a bit of this— Campbell pointed to herself —But it won't happen, Jadmani, unfortunately, you're not my type—.

Martha, in the background, was laughing. —You look like a married couple— she added before falling back into the chair as a victim of a huge drunkenness.

—I only wish hottie Shalifoe— Fatin was still holding Toni around her neck —Isn't that so, my captain?— She sought her approval, while leaving a trail of kisses all over her face. Shelby, next to her, was looking at her with some anger, clearly uncomfortable with the situation.

—What I know, Jadmani, is that your mother is going to kill me when I take you home in the morning— Toni scolded her —Dottie, come with me to find the tents. None can drive in this state. You all better spend the night here— said number three, after laying Fatin on the couch. 

—I can’t stay, Anto, you know it— Shelby whispered to Toni.

—You have drunk as much as the others, I will not let you go— Toni stood with authority —Better give me a hand. You think you can take Marty to her room?— Shelby nodded —Help me with that and verify that Fatin does not suffer from an alcoholic coma— she stroked her face —I'll be right back— she said before going to the garage, invaded by a feeling that she could not describe.

When she arrived, stacks of boxes were scattered on the floor, as well as their contents, but there was no sign of the camping tents.

—Chief, mission failed— Campbell, from the corner, greeted her with the military salute, wearing a camouflage jacket and an old beret she had found.

—Come on, Dot, seriously. We have two women out there that if they don't sleep now, they'll leave here on a stretcher— Toni started rummaging through the mess —By the way, where are Rachel and Nora?—.

—Their driver came for them an hour ago. You and Shelby were out a long time— the current captain of the Firebirds tried to get her friend to speak but she ignored her —Toni, tell me, I know something's wrong with you—.

—It happens that I am a terrible human being— she answered, lowering her gaze —What kind of girl has her girlfriend in the hospital, on the brink of death, and starts playing adolescent love with someone who has always despised her?— Toni burst into tears —Dottie, I don't deserve Leah, I've never deserved her— the tears rose as she lay on the ground, burying her face between her knees.

—I have always been amazed at how dedicated you are to taking care of the people you love. That is why we made you our captain, because we had never known a heart as pure as yours— Dot started saying —A pure heart that is young and stupid in the same proportion— she lay down next to her —Toni, you take care of people. You care even for those who don't deserve it. You give it your all, so much so that you can be wrong— she continued, having gained her attention —You get wrong but you fix it. You risk, lose and assume defeat. You don't have to always do things right. Look at us, we're 17, we're at the age to screw it up— Toni smiled —If Leah could see you, she would know that you are leaving your skin to learn to live with the pain of waiting for her— Dot paused —I know how much you love her, I know that you are giving your best. Stop blaming yourself for what happened, it's no one's fault. You get it right?— Toni nodded and they both merged into a hug.

Once Toni recovered her spirits, they continued looking for the tents, stirring up the fragments of dust that covered the room. Despite their efforts, they couldn't find the tents so they had to improvise.

—Fatin, you share a bed with Martha. Dot, you will sleep with Shelby in mine. I'll stay in the truck— they all agreed. 

Shalifoe inflated an air mattress and put it in the back of her '65 Chevy truck. As she was about to fall asleep, a familiar voice called her from the sidewalk.

—Shelby, go back to bed— she advised, but the blonde ignored what she said and lay down next to her. 

—I can't sleep, I'm not used to staying in places other than my room— she admitted with a hint of shame in her words —Besides— she continued —It seems unfair that you're the only one with the privilege of sleeping watching the stars—.

—You mean the privilege of freezing to death— they both smiled —I can't sleep either, actually, company is good for me— said Toni, lowering her guard.

With their eyes fixed on the sky, neither spoke again. There were no kisses, no guilt, no regrets, only the night and its tranquility, only a deep, anesthetizing sleep, until the day appeared over the mountains.

—Fuck, fuck, fuck!— Toni heard, waking up instantly —What's wrong? What time is it?— she asked, half asleep, watching Shelby get ready.

—It's almost 4 o'clock— they had a good nap, she thought to herself —I'll be late for mass, I have to go— she jumped out of the truck, without intending to extend the talk.

—Shelby, wait!— Toni yelled —Are we okay?— the blonde didn't answer. Instead, she started her car and sped off.

———————————————————————————-

Although her parents weren't there, Shelby didn't want to miss her community gatherings, knowing how easily the news could be made public in Jefferson.

Her condition was simply deplorable, so she made a mandatory stop at home, taking advantage of the two hours of margin she still had left.

After opening the door of the Goodkind mansion, she ran barefoot towards the stairs intending to reach her room, but before she even tried, a male voice stopped her.

—Shelby, come here right now— the young woman panicked.

—Hi, Dad, I'm glad to see you, I wasn't expecting you— she gave him a kiss on the cheek once she got to the living room —How was San Francisco?— she ended up asking, clearly nervous.

—You stink of alcohol— Dave said, while detailing her appearance —Where have you been, Shelby Goodkind?— he used her last name, not a good sign.

—With Aunt Karen, I stopped by to see how my brothers were— she lied, looking away.

—Shelby, Aunt Karen called me concerned because she hadn't heard from you all weekend. Your mother and I thought something might have happened to you— Dave's face reflected pure disappointment —I want the truth!— he yelled, slamming the marble table.

—I stayed at Toni Shalifoe house— Shelby admitted, her voice cracking.

—I thought you were clear that you are not allowed to approach her— Mr. Goodkind put his hands to his head —I do not want you to try to approach that girl, do you understand?— he hit the table with more force.

—I understand, Dad, it won't happen again, I promise you— she agreed.

And that conversation marks the beginning of this complex story.


	5. Hey Lover

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It is Erana's birthday so I wanted to join the celebration with a new chapter, although this time, we will take a little trip to the past. I hope you enjoy it ♥️

After a long weekend full of hallucinogens and industrial quantities of alcohol, the most difficult time of the year for Stephen Austin students arrived: the make-up exams.

At the expense of dawn, lying in bed staring blankly, Toni is unable to sleep. Every time she closes her eyes, the memory of Leah wanders freely in front of her pupils, like a ghost she can't get rid of.

The initial contact between the two had not been particularly memorable, not in terms of the expectations surrounding adolescent love: it did not take place at a wild party, nor was it the product of childhood, a rivalry or a bet, much less appeared with the irruption of a prince to protect his maiden in distress. The first time they'd actually met, it had been ordinary, in a common room, with improper dialogue from a Hollywood movie. However, Shalifoe did not consider that there was a more perfect way to meet her soul mate.

FLASHBACK START

Jefferson in the summer was almost a ghost town. Most of the inhabitants were absent during all the vacations, either to return to their provinces of origin or to look in exotic places for an emotion that would isolate them from the monotony of the Texan people.

The Blackburns, like other middle-class families, used to travel to the Florida shores to enjoy the months off. However, on that occasion, they decided to ignore this tradition and stay in the town, knowing that, in a year, the eldest daughter of the marriage would have to attend the University, making it a priority to save as much as possible to pay her expenses.

Despite having the surname Blackburn, Toni still struggled with the "stranger syndrome", a sensation that had been with her since she arrived at her adoptive family's home. The stranger syndrome, in simple words, was the feeling of never being able to feel at home. Toni had had a home, a beautiful one, with memories of a more than wonderful childhood. Indeed, having been forced out of her reality in such a traumatic way made it difficult for her to adapt. Even so, the young athlete felt lucky, sheltered by the affection of her new family nucleus, although, deep down, she thought that she was only a burden for them.

Knowing that they would be staying in town, Toni insisted that they let her get a job to contribute to the college savings fund. Her mother, Dakota, viewed the proposal favorably. Trevor, for his part, remained undecided, not looking very convinced by the idea.

—Here— he held out a paper, interrupting her daughter's practice in the garden.

—What is it?— Toni asked.

—The address of the Rilke house— Trevor replied —Jeremy needs someone to take care of the barn— he explained —You better hurry. They expect you around four o'clock— said the young woman's father, smiling from ear to ear.

—I thought you didn't want me to work— she reproached him —Besides, how long have you had this closeness with the Rilkes?— her interest was evident. 

—The Rilkes have taken over the real estate where I work. They are the main shareholders— he began by explaining —I have been able to share some beers with Jeremy in recent months. The paperwork in the office has been insane— he smiled, thinking of the football nights with his colleagues at the company —He and his wife are good people. And her daughter, Leah, is a lovely girl. I bet you both will become friends— Toni was silent, surprised that her father had met Leah or the "mystery girl", as they used to refer to her in high school. Although the Rilkes had been in the city for about a year, very few had spoken with them, much less with the couple's daughter, who did not seem very willing to blend in with Jefferson's youth —And about my opposition to you finding a job— Trevor snapped her out of her thoughts —You're my daughter, Toni. I just wanted to make sure you were in a safe place— he admitted, giving her a hug —Just as I wanted to make sure you went to a quiet place where you could study on your breaks— now they looked at each other —If I am lucky, in September I will not only have a richer daughter but also a smarter one— they both laughed.

—Thanks dad, you are the best— Toni hugged the brown man —I don't promise that I'll be smarter or richer but I promise not to disappoint you— she said before entering the house.

Minutes later, Toni set off in her gleaming '65 chevy truck, a gift her parents gave her as a reward for winning the state championship the previous year. The current appearance of the truck was not the least bit like the condition in which Shalifoe had received it. The discovery of Deisy -as Martha baptized it- was accidental, Dakota acquired it at a "winning price" at an auction a few kilometers away, but when the car arrived at the Blackburn house, it was nothing more than a model, a tin skeleton without nothing to make it work. That year, the athlete's attention had only two goals: basketball and becoming a part-time mechanic. The capacity of that machine to absorb her time was so great that number three ended up failing Texas History, having to take the subject to September. "It was worth it" she thought to herself, as she subtly moved over the road.

With the windows down, a cool breeze crept into the car, unusual for this time of year when the summer heat was almost hellish. After a 40 minute ride, Toni finally made it to her workplace.

The two-story house was on a large lot, practically cut off from civilization. Its walls, bathed in white, contrasted with the colorful flowers that adorned the portal. It was not very different from the rest of the Jefferson houses, less luxurious, perhaps, considering the location, but to Toni it transmitted calm, serenity. It was lovely to look at it, hypnotic, as if it were the most peaceful place on earth.

—Toni, how good to see you! Come in— the man with silver hair and blue eyes invited her in, as soon as she pressed the bell. 

—Hello, Mr. Rilke, good afternoon— once in the corridor, the athlete's gaze inspected every corner she could reach —Thank you for the job opportunity— she said, returning her attention to the man in front of her.

—I appreciate your father. It's the least I can do for him— he commented, then shook her hand —Call me Jeremy, please, I have enough years to feel older because of your formality— they both laughed —Toni— he continued saying —I must wrap up a business call. Would you mind waiting a moment?. You can tour the property or go directly to the stable, as you like, it will only take a minute— the young woman nodded and the businessman hurried up the stairs.

Immediately, Toni was invaded by curiosity and cautiously began to detail the pictures arranged along the corridor. The paintings, mostly landscapes, complied with a marked impressionist style, where the lights stand out to the detriment of the form and the feelings are reflected in the contrast of color and shadow, as a perfect balance of emotion and pleasure. All of this matched the minimalist decoration of the place: white, dark tones and light, lots of light through small glass windows. That could be something close to paradise or paradise itself, if there was a possibility of keeping the sky within four walls.

Following the tour, Toni noticed an unusual canvas that stood out above the rest, which stood out by breaking with the harmony of the pieces next to it, being antagonistic in its elements, in its execution... When it came across said frame , the young woman could not avoid being hit by a feeling of despair, of anguish ... like the gasp of the last goodbye. It was a bloody, dark, disturbing image... but at the same time attractive, profound... "Jeanette Rilke" was featured as a signature in the lower right corner. Many questions suddenly surfaced: "Who is Jeanette?", "What was her inspiration?"...

Shalifoe did not have time to dwell on the matter, for the silence that had accompanied her vanished with the irruption of a soft melody. As she got closer, the notes took shape and the space became clearer, more lucid. Once she reached the room where the sound came from, she stood at the door, static, weighing whether or not that woman who danced alone was the product of her imagination.

Inside the kitchen, a young woman in black pants, a white shirt and shoes of the same tone, moved placidly to the rhythm of "Hey Lover", a classic of the local radio stations. The black-haired woman kept her eyes closed, as if she were feeling the lyrics of the song through each of her movements. Her hands traveled over herself, while she swayed slowly, from side to side, to the beat of the popular eighties ballad.

Toni admired her from a distance, paying attention to her features, her skin exposed to the afternoon flashes that caressed her gently. The atmosphere was exquisite, light in weight, like snowflakes settling along the ridge, but time passed slowly like seconds in spring, spokesmen for perpetuity, faithful lovers of fleeting love and eternal misfortune. That girl, without knowing it, had plunged the brunette into a spiral of contrary emotions, leading her from curiosity to intrigue, from indifference to excessive passion, awakening in her an anonymous feeling, something impossible to mold into words.

The captain of the Firebirds would have done anything to live tied to that moment, because it would never end ... but the girl opened her eyes and stopped in her tracks, having noticed her presence in the kitchen.

—Excuse me, I didn't want to interrupt— she hurried to say, nervous —I'm Toni Shalifoe— they shook hands. 

—I'm Leah Rilke— replied the previous stranger, maintaining contact between them for a long time, not being able to look away —I'm sorry for... well, that— Leah released her, clearly embarrassed.

—I think you owe me a therapy session— they both laughed, their cheeks burning with shyness. They looked at each other again, letting themselves be carried away by the silence.

—Well, so you've already met— Jeremy appeared in the kitchen —Leah, this is Trevor's daughter, my co-worker. He came to dinner with us last month, remember?— the black-haired girl nodded —She's going to take care of the stable. You no longer have an excuse to stay home more than necessary— Leah barely listened to the man, who noticed the tension between the teenagers —Well, I leave you to finish your conversation. Toni, I'll wait for you outside— said the man, before going out to the patio.

—My pleasure, Shalifoe— Leah shook her hand again, this time with a determined grip —I guess we'll see each other—. 

—I'll see you soon— Toni said, before turning her back on her and following in Jeremy's footsteps.

FLASHBACK END

—Toni, Toni, you're going to be late!— Shalifoe heard from afar, still groggy from sleep —Get up!— her younger sister repeated, this time hitting her with the pillow. 

—What the hell is wrong with you?— Toni woke up abruptly —Shit!— she exclaimed worriedly, realizing that she only had 20 minutes to get to the exam.

Without further ado, she changed and went to Stephen Austin, aware that she was just in time. In front of the institute, Andrew and Shelby were chatting with a group of friends, waiting for the bell to ring to signal the entrance.

The athlete passed by, wanting to avoid any inconvenience but, just like she expected, Andrew started yelling at her trying to get her attention. At first, Toni ignored the insults: deviant, lesbian, tomboy ... she had learned to live with situations of that caliber, however, there was one last sentence that made her stop.

—Hey Shalifoe, so now you're going after my girlfriend!— it's incredible that Shelby had come back with that idiot, Toni thought —Sure, since yours is half dead, you're unable to...— Andrew couldn't finish speaking. In seconds, Toni knocked him down with a right hand to the nose, knocking him unconscious. Still, the brunette kept hitting him.

Her judgment was clouded and she was guided by anger, blow after blow, no one was able to interfere. Her strength seemed inexhaustible, as if she could prolong this massacre for days. However, an approaching voice made her stop.

—Shelby, take him to the infirmary— said Gretchen, who had taken Toni by the shoulders —You’re coming with me— she said, dragging her student into her office.

—What the hell were you thinking?. Do you have any idea of the damage this could cause to the team?. Do you have any idea of the damage this could cause to yourself, of the legal consequences?— Gretchen was yelling but Toni was elsewhere.

In her life, which she considered so insignificant, everything had ceased to matter, everything had lost relevance. It was no longer worth fighting, or being a better athlete, or being a better person. She did not like to play, or exist, or dream. Everything she wanted was gone and she had nothing, not even hope.


	6. Business

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holaaaa, it’s me again :). I am not sure if anyone reads these notes but here I take the opportunity to thank you for reading the fanfic, it means a lot to me. Hope you like it!!
> 
> PD: Have you heard Erana’s interview on the radio? I can’t believe how much I miss the Wilds 😭

Toni waited a while in that room, knowing that exemplary punishment was coming for what she had done. It was not the first time that Shalifoe sat in front of that imposing desk. Since the death of her father, she has been going to the principal's office at least once a month. She always got into trouble, whether she wanted to or not, she was like a kind of magnet, a radioactive flammable element, capable of exploding the tranquility of an entire town. However, she never used her story as a shield, not even as the fury that was biting into her began to show in her actions. She used to get into trouble, she lived subject to the instability of her own emotions, but she never shirked any responsibility. Ignoring the exemplary nature of the sanction, Toni always faces it, even if the system of punishments and rewards fails and she never learns from it.

—Sit down properly— principal Aubrey Brown ordered, looking at the young woman with her feet crossed on the chair. Toni obeyed and remained silent with her head bowed —I came from the infirmary. What you've done…— Brown took off her reading glasses and put them on the table —I'm disappointed, Toni, very disappointed— her words blossomed like a sigh. There was not angry or complain in her words, just resignation —I still remember the first time you were here, you know— they both smiled —You made a fuss in class because a child called you “dumb”. Luckily your aim at 12 was not so deadly. You would have left him staring at the stars with the book you threw at him— she paused. Toni, for her part, continued with the intention of not participating in the conversation —I have failed you by allowing your behavior to get out of control— Aubrey was being hard on herself, once again, the protective instinct it has led her to treat the athlete with leniency in recent years had left her in evidence. The reason for her benignity was simple: Brown and Anthony Shalifoe had a youth romance, nothing too deep, in fact, it was more of a friendship than a couple relationship. However, she could never forget him. Upon his death, she promised herself to take care of little Toni, even though she could only act from an office. She would do whatever it took to make her happy, as happy as her father would have wanted —It's over, Toni, this has to stop— now her tone was serious, which made the teenager look up.

—Come on, Brown, send me to the punishment room and let's get this over with— the athlete refused to acknowledge the seriousness of the situation.

—One more blow and Andrew would have ended up with a deviated nasal septum. You're lucky he is not going to press charges against you— Aubrey raised her voice, making Toni stunned.

—He deserves it— the young woman feigned disinterest.

—Toni Shalifoe— Brown clenched her fists, trying to calm herself down —I have made many mistakes with you but benevolence is over— her words emerged naturally, pronouncing one syllable after another more firmly —From now on, you have to attend therapy with the school counselor, Daniel Faber, three times a week— Toni grunted, dejected —That's not all. You will go straight to the infirmary and apologize to Andrew— the athlete rolled her eyes, showing her clear disagreement regarding the conditions of the reprimand.

—Anything else, your honor?— Shalifoe asked, bowing in a wry show of respect. 

—Yes— Aubrey replied —One more infraction, Toni Shalifoe, and I swear by Jesus Christ himself that you can say goodbye to the season because you don't step on the court in a Firebirds uniform for the rest of the year— Toni froze —You can retire— Brown reported, gesturing with her right hand to the exit.

Number three picked up her backpack from the ground and slung it over her shoulder, then ran off to the gym, but not before slamming the door behind her. She was furious, she couldn't explain the scale of anger she was feeling at that moment. The measurements seemed unfair, incoherent to her. She would not apologize. The only way to make her apologize was to get a court order to force her, but without knowing much about the subject, she doubted that there was any of that type.

Social work, punishment room, ban on training with the group, inability to attend end-of-year parties ... Toni had experienced it all, all punishment existed on the face of the earth, but that threat was different. Leave her without basketball? No one could deprive the Firebirds of having her, not in the season where they intended to make history. So, hearing Aubrey's admonition, Toni was scared. For the first time since she had studied there, her continuity on the team hung by a thread.

—Shalifoe, what the hell have you gotten into now?— Rachel approached her as soon as she saw her walk through the door.

—Leave me alone, Reid, I'm not in the mood for your bullshit— Toni wanted to continue but the pivot blocked her way —Rachel, get away— she warned her.

—What, Shalifoe, are you going to hit me until I bleed?— she asked, pushing her back slightly.

—If you touch me again and I swear to God that ...— the small forward did not want to continue the sentence.

—What?— Rachel pushed her again —What are you going to do?— Toni responded with a blow to the cheekbone, causing Rachel to fall to the ground. The rest just watched the scene, not wanting to intervene in that dispute.

Toni and Rachel's fights were common. The two of them had a difficult character to carry and, at a certain point, could be considered enemies, even if they had never done anything to harm the other, not in the evil sense of the word. Toni and Rachel competed for everything: popularity, respect from others, individual records ... It was like having two queen bees at the head of a pyramid hierarchy. Most of the time it was beneficial: if Toni was not in a game, Rachel was there to cover her and vice versa. It was evident that they shared the same level of commitment to the shield, a commitment that sadly can be seen in few athletes today. However, their excessive involvement could become a problem, not because it was obsessive, which it was, but because of the constant dispute they had regarding the idea of power. During the years that Toni was captain, the situation eased itself, although there was always the fear that the rivalry would explode. Now that Shalifoe had decided to step aside, Rachel and Toni were right on the same level, being able to unleash their enmity.

—What the fuck?— Dot, who has just appeared through one of the side doors, started to run, noticing the situation —Reid, get your fucking ass out of my sight— she said after helping her up.

—She is the one who should go away— Rachel replied pointing to Toni.

—You think I don't know that you started this?— Dot asked her. Rachel was silent —That's what I thought— she said before looking at Shalifoe —You come with me. The others start the warm-up exercises—.

The team followed their captain's orders. Toni and Dot left the gym.

—Do you want to talk about what happened?— Campbell broke the silence, receiving a negative response from the brunette, who kept her gaze immersed in the flame of her cigarette —Okay, because I am the one who want to talk now— Toni came to herself and stood up to be at the same height as her —You know I have never told you anything about your way of solving your issues— Dot began explaining —I have been by your side, in any situation, without measuring gravity, without pretending to understand it, I have been there, watching your steps— Toni knew that it was an absolute truth. Dot had been her protective amulet, her right hand both inside and outside the playing field —Now it's time for you to give me all that back— Shalifoe didn't quite understand what she meant. The number 2 continued after a short pause —I know you're going through a shitty situation right now and it's taking you too much to deal with everything, but I need you to stay out of trouble for once— her breath hitched and her throat went dry, not sure how to continue with the next words —The cancer reappeared and, this time, it doesn't seem like my father can get over it— a tear slid down her cheeks.

—Dottie, I am so sorry, I had no idea— Toni rushed to hug her.

—It is important to win the final and get some University to be interested in us. I can hardly afford treatment for my father's illness. This is no longer just a game, my future depends on this, I can't allow myself to fail this time— Dot's voice was totally broken from crying.

—I promise you we will win— Toni whispered staring at her —We will go to college together and show America what we are worth— they embraced —I won't let you fall, Dot, not now or ever.

—Well then— Dot released her, overwhelmed by so many displays of affection —I think I'd better go. I have to organize a team— her enthusiasm was running through her veins again —You can skip training— she proposed, noticing Toni's discouragement.

—What about Gretchen?—.

—Are you kidding? The coach won't even want to see you— they both laughed —Don't worry, I'll distract her. You go talk to the history teacher. I heard that she is furious because you did not show up— indeed, Toni had gotten into a big trouble.

—Thanks, Dottie— yelled number three when her captain was already several yards away.

—At your command, sargento— she made the military salute, from a distance, before disappearing into the building. 

Toni smoked another cigarette behind the stands of the soccer field. When she was about to leave, Shelby showed up.

—Go away— said the brunette before the other girl could say something.

—Anto, please, I need to talk to you— Shelby begged approaching her.

—Shouldn't you be taking care of your boyfriend? Heard a madwoman almost killed him this morning— Toni asked ironically.

—Andrew is not my boyfriend— the blonde whispered with her head down.

—Do I seem to care?— she pretended disinterest.

—Yes, Toni, you seem to care, I don't understand why it's so hard for you to admit it— the cheerleader raised her tone of voice.

—I'm the one who doesn't understand what you want me to do— Toni yelled at her, furious —Our relationship ended a long time ago— Shelby was listening carefully —I found someone who is not ashamed of me. Someone who doesn't need to get drunk to tell me that she loves me, someone who doesn't pretend not to know me when we're in front of other people— the athlete said each word angrily, almost on the verge of tears —If you think I'm going to give that up for you, you're wrong— Toni got so close to Shelby that she could feel the rhythm of her breathing —I am not a toy that you can throw away when you get tired of it— none of them broke eye contact —You have no right to play with my feelings the way you do— a tear slid down Shelby's face —You need to let me go because I am not going back. It’s over— Toni whispered before looking at her one last time and walking away, leaving her alone.

She watched Toni walk away without doing anything to stop her. She could have convinced her to keep fighting, she could have told her that she could not live without her but Toni was right, she deserved to have someone who could love her fully, deeply and without reservation. 

Shelby tried but she would never be that person, not in this life.

———————————————————————————-

Around six o'clock in the afternoon, Dorothy went out to smoke in the front door of her house, as she had done regularly since she discovered anxiety and cigarettes. However, on this occasion, she was about to embark on a very unconventional business.

While she was waiting for her new partners, who would be ready to show up, Dot noticed Toni's truck approaching her house. Of course, she did not expect to see her there at that time

—What's up, bitch?— the brunette told her from the car, once she parked on the opposite sidewalk.

—I wasn't expecting to see you, I thought you'd be home by now— Dot had crossed the street to stand next to the driver's seat and prevent Toni from getting out of the vehicle. Now they were talking through the low glass of the window.

—I just came from taking the history test. I think it went well for me— Toni looked clearly excited.

—Congratulations, sargento— they both bumped their fists —I'm very happy for you and I'd like to celebrate with you but I have to take care of my father. Would you like it if I call you later and tell me the details?— Dorothy needed Toni to leave as soon as possible.

—Sure, capitana, we'll talk later— she noticed Dot's nervousness but without giving it much thought, she started the engine and drove off.

Dorothy sighed in relief, though her calm was rather short-lived. Within minutes, a black truck pulled up in front of her house. From it emerged two tall men, dressed in suits and ties, with their respective office briefcases.

—Follow me— said the young woman, once she shook hands with both of them.

And when these men entered the house, Dot knew that she had just sealed the most dangerous deal of her life.


	7. The enemy plays at home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello. I have seen that more and more people are reading this and it makes me very happy. Thank you all for joining me in this story.
> 
> I hope you like today's chapter.
> 
> PD: Did you read Shannon's interview? I am completely in love with that woman

Throughout history, philosophers and theologians have debated the essence of the human being, the invariability of his nature or the continuous dichotomous struggle between his dementias and passions, reaching rather vague conclusions about what makes man a man, not being able to establish a unitary criterion, an interpretation guide to explain our behaviors. While Aristotle maintained that what moves us is happiness, the moderns had a more pessimistic view, the "that" that directs us is for them greed and not virtue or good will. Shelby always thought such paraphernalia useless. For her, developing general theories about behavior was, in addition to a waste of time, an attack on the tempestuous sovereignty of the individual. All this without going into detail about feelings. Emotions represent a whole new world, the world of unreason, of the variable but stable at the same time, of the eternal that lasts for just a few seconds. At an early age, the cheerleader knew that she did not resemble her family at all, not in terms of physical appearance, as she had inherited the golden hair and light eyes that her parents bragged so much about, but in terms of the way she feels life, her way of treating others…

However, her character was always malleable, leaving her beliefs, aspirations or even her happiness to be subordinated to the influence of her environment, to that of her father, to be more precise. Dave Goodkind was an example of self-improvement, a role model, the true leader of the community. All the people who knew him could only witness in amazement the extent of his professional achievements. Shelby had grown up surrounded by that attention, amidst applause and cymbals, she had discovered the vilest side of privilege. It is likely that any young, man or woman, wanted to be in her situation, anyone would want the level of consideration that she received, the luxuries that she could have, the status… but, for Shelby, that was nothing more than a punishment. Because superiority, although it seems to place you at the head of a hierarchical structure, where you can impose your will on lower links, only gives you a false sense of authority that, in practice, does not materialize. To have power is to adjust what you do, what you say or what you think to the standards that the world thinks you are entitled to. Power translates into expectations, in a total disappearance of autonomy, in the sudden death of freedom. Up to that point, the cheerleader could handle it. With or without power, most ended up playing a role that did not correspond to their authentic "self," as if that role was naturally determined so that the rest of the pieces could fit together. What Shelby could not bear about power was the instrumentalization of her emotional ties.

She had the recurring thought that people only approached her because they would get some kind of revenue in return. Popularity, attractive ... The way they treated her didn't make her feel any better, of course. This had resulted in a complete detachment of the young woman regarding the relationships she established with third parties. She used to get bored fast. Humans, in general, seemed tedious to her. Well, all but one, if she was honest with herself.

Toni Shalifoe, the only one who had ever treated her like a real person. She missed her and regretted how things had happened in the past but the cards were thrown and Toni was clear, she had no right to play with her feelings. There was no alternative but to accept and move on.

—Sweetheart, do you have a minute?— Dave entered her room after knocking on the door.

—Sure, Dad— Shelby nodded, looking at him through the dresser mirror, as she continued to get ready for high school.

—On the trip to San Francisco, your mother and I closed a very important deal with a new investor. His name is Benjamin Gilroy— Shelby listened to him attentively, although surprised, it was not usual for her father to tell her anything about the family business —He is not just any investor, actually, we are going to merge both companies. It's the perfect window to expand the dealership outside of Texas boundaries and for us to be recognized nationally— Dave's eyes turned bluer than usual, it was obvious this was the opportunity of a lifetime.

—I'm very happy for you, really, but I don't understand what this has to do with me— Shelby didn't mean to sound rude, but her father was talking a lot and was beginning to worry about the length of that interlude.

—One of the conditions that Benjamin put to accept the deal is to know how our company works. He wants to approach employees and verify, beyond the accounts and financial figures, that it is a prosperous business. That's why Mr. Gilroy has moved in here— Goodkind paused, wondering how to phrase the next sentence —You see, honey, Gilroy is a widower. His wife died almost a decade ago and he has been alone with his daughter ever since. She has also come. I told Benjamin that you and her would be good friends— Shelby rolled her eyes —Please, Shelbs, just take her to high school today. Accompany her to her classes, introduce her to people, so that she doesn't feel so lost on the first day— Dave turned the chair around and stood in front of his daughter, putting one knee on the ground to be at her height —She's a senior. She had to give up a lot to be here. The least we can do is get her comfortable. Do you think you can help me with that?— he asked, stroking the teenager's cheek with his right hand.

—I didn't know rich girls need a babysitter— Shelby turned around again, looking back in the mirror. 

—You're a rich girl— the man said after getting up.

—Where is my babysitter then?— she replied and her father started laughing.

—Okay Shelbs, you win, what do you want in return?— Dave asked with his arms crossed.

—I want mom's car for the whole month— her father smiled at her.

—Mom won't allow that, but I have a better idea— Shelby stopped putting on her makeup and listened carefully —I'll give you my car for a week and if the business goes well, I'll buy you your own car. Deal?—.

—Deal— they both shook hands.

Across town, in Stephen Austin's gym, before the sun finished rising, Dorothy summoned the Firebirds for an emergency meeting.

—Does anyone know the concept of mental health? Because someone who calls their friend in the early morning does not seem to be very well in the head— Toni said aloud, being the last to arrive.

—Take it easy, Iron man, you better sit and listen to what your captain has to say— Rachel looked clearly upset.

—Arizona is injured, she won't be available the rest of the season— Shalifoe was speechless —And that's not all— Dot continued —Valerie has signed for our direct rival in the nationals, The Alabama Panthers. Without them, we are 10, we need at least 2 to be able to participate in the championship—.

—I'ma kill that bitch— Toni said, furious.

—Seriously Toni? Is it the best solution you can give?— Rachel scolded her and Toni shrugged —What did the coach say about it?— the African American asked, looking at her captain.

—Nothing. We have a meeting after class. I guess she wants to give me instructions in person— Dottie replied, trying to sound calm.

—The regulation does not say that the players have to know how to play basketball— Toni broke the silence, the others followed her words carefully —Let's do some tryouts at halftime. We just have to find two girls to occupy the bench until we find another solution— her idea, although far-fetched, seemed to be the only option on the table.

—Wow, Shalifoe, your neurons work after all— Rachel joked.

—Don't take advantage of the fact that I'm in a good mood— Toni warned her —Can you make sure they announce it over the PA? I know those of The news owes you favors— Reid nodded —Well, we got it, Firebirds, in just hours the most anticipated recruitment of the year begins— there was irony in her words, as well as a hint of satisfaction at having “led the troop” through the crisis.

Too bad the happiness wasn't going to last as long as she expected.

Time flew by and in a few hours, the gym was packed with hopefuls who wanted to fill a position on the most successful team in the city. The test, stipulated by Dot, was apparently simple. It consisted of overcoming three free throws in a row and answering a basic theoretical question about the team. This last criterion, introduced by a suggestion from Nora, was aimed at choosing someone who cared about the whole. They would not find anyone capable of measuring up on a physical level, they knew it. That is why they also took into account the loyalty or admiration that the new members could feel for the shirt.

The tide of requests was ebbing. The preferences of Dot, Rachel and Toni did not coincide in any case, so that, by the end of the lunch hour, they had not chosen anyone yet.

—Half of the institute has walked under our noses and unless the boys dress up as women to come, I don't think we will be showered with alternatives— Rachel got up, exasperated, facing the table of her teammates.

—You gotta be kidding me— Toni said, looking at the front door.

—This is not possible— Dot shared her amazement.

Rachel turned around and was shocked like the others, not believing what her eyes saw.

—What are you doing so far from home? Are you lost?— Toni was the first to reach her, face to face, their gazes were like daggers, full of hatred and resentment.

—I've missed you too, Shalifoe— Regan put her right hand on Toni's cheek but she pushed her away instantly. 

—This is not a fucking game, Hernández, what the hell are you doing here?— now Rachel intervened, standing next to her teammate.

—Nice to see you too, Reich— Regan smiled at her and began to examine the facilities.

—Stop beating around the bush, Hernández, answer the fucking questions— Toni lost her patience and tugged on her arm, making them face to face again.

—You turn me on when you act like a psycho— the Latina joked and Toni let go of her arm —I'm the newest signing for the Firebirds. I didn't mean to cause a stir, I thought you already knew— the former Alabama Panthers player lit a cigarette, while the rest barely tried to process the news.

—There is no way this is going to happen— Toni's voice was pure outrage.

—This has already happened. There is nothing you can do— Regan said with a victorious smile on her face.

—Why don't you solve it in a duel?— a voice was heard out of nowhere.

—Jesus Fucking Christ, Fatin, where did you come from?— exclaimed Dot, startled.

—Are you kidding? I've been here all this time— they all looked at her with a face of circumstance —Seriously, girls, why don't you solve it on the field?. Athletes are supposed to do that— Fatin's idea was ingenious. Indeed, such duels were almost a tradition at Stephen Austin.

The Firebirds, especially Toni and Rachel, agreed to compete against men who dared to question their talents. One after another, they were beaten on the abandoned court in front of all the students. In time, no one dared -for fear of being humiliated- to challenge them again. This was seen as an honorable occasion to bring back that old custom.

—Fatin's right— Toni said, staring at Regan —Let's play two against two. It is obvious that I cannot make you leave but I can make your passage here not even noticeable— the number 3 started to explain —If you lose, you and your pretty face will spend a long time on the substitute bench—.

—What if I win?— Regan asked defiantly.

—You won’t— Rachel replied.

—It’s fine, I accept, but I have a condition— Hernández walked over to Toni and put her hand on her chest, right where her game number was —If I win, I'm going to wear this sexy 3 in my uniform all season. Deal?— the brunette hesitated at first but then accepted the deal.

—I'm not getting involved in this. I'm the captain, I'll be the referee— Dot squeezed her friend's shoulder as an apologetic gesture.

—I guess it will be you and me— Rachel put her arm around Toni —Who are you playing with, Wonder Woman?— she asked Regan. 

—Excuse me, here are the tryouts for the basketball team?— a short young woman with curly black hair and blue eyes said from the door, interrupting the conversation. 

—I think I already have a partner— Hernández commented with a smile on her face.

Then the Gilroy heiress smiled without knowing that she had gotten into the wolf's mouth.


End file.
